I used to want to do everything, be everything but it took so much energy.
I typically have a pretty clear vision in my mind of how I wanted things done. It just felt more comfortable doing it myself, rather than trying to explain what I was looking for and then have to fix it all when it invariably would end up falling short. This may sound like a control freak, and I probably was. I thought that a high level of perfectionism was serving me well all those years. Lately, during this COVID19 epidemic, I started feeling different. It could just be I have more on my palate than I am physically capable of accomplishing, but whatever the reason enough is enough.
I no longer feel the need to do it all. I couldn't see it until recently, but this wasn't just about work being done or too much to fast; in fact, the two really couldn't be separated. I wouldn't have admitted this before, but I think I was scared of what I would be left with if I stopped doing it all.
I was terrified I might get bored or what I might hear of If I paused long enough to listen to my inner thoughts.
Fear is such a liar. The first time in a long time when I took the time to listen, 7yrs ago I received clarity on the things I am most passionate about and started a business.
I've been holding on to so much for too long. lost the energy to savor the moments.
During this time of quiet and rest, it became clear to me my strength and passion. I love to curated lifestyle must-have essentials, that's my magic my buying skills what i bring to the Fashion & Retail industry, that's my lane, I am the buyer for Fason De Viv. "The Merchandiser."
For a long time, I took pride in doing it all. I thought that pride was confidence, but it was unknown insecurity. I am no longer going to fall into the trap of believing that I need to be the best at everything I am learning how to let others run-in their lanes while I stick with mines. I am the buyer and visual merchandiser for a Global Online Curated Marketplace, stocking the world's dope Independent brands under one roof.
It's hard to describe the confidence that comes with owning that and flourishing in your light. For me, faith knows that's enough. Let go of control! 😃
Always ask the universe for help, and more, the right people will #showup.
-Zen CEO Lifestyle
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